First of all, what’s with this “Gate” thing? Seems like, ever since Watergate, every alleged scandal gets the “Gate” suffix. That is all except Benghazi, I haven’t heard anyone refer to that as Benghazigate, not yet anyway.
That aside, the unconfirmed news, that I heard from anonymous sources, allege that when our Governor, The Honorable Chris Christie, the man who “we the people” of New Jersey entrusted to lead us in these trying times, was involved in something much worse than a “traffic jam.” The rumor has it that when he was in the seventh grade he was caught chewing gum in class.
That’s right; you got it, “Gumgate.”
It was further alleged that because he brought enough for everyone, this egregious violation of the unwritten rule against gum chewing, was overlooked. Can you imagine?
Although this is just a rumor, I think forming a committee to investigate this is in order or, at the very least, have a meeting. Never mind the cost to the taxpayer; we are a bottomless pit of money, that’s what our politicians believe anyway, so what’s a few thousand dollars here and there.
Now I know the, “Bridgegate traffic jam” is just a “bump in the road,” (or was that the other thing?), but it’s the principal of it all. After all, this is the first case of political retribution in our fair state, and we can’t let that go.
I wish the politicians that “we the people,” elected would put as much energy and resources into fixing the problems that plague us as they do trying to smear each other. Maybe, just maybe, then the people who are still homeless because of Sandy would have a place to live. Or maybe our property taxes would go down so our seniors wouldn’t have to eat bologna sandwiches just so they could keep the houses that they worked for all their lives. Nah, that wouldn’t be progressive.
-Joe Bayona
I have uncovered unconfirmed reports that Mr. Christie’s parents did not purchase that gum for him. Where is such a young child to procure enough money that he may supply an entire 7th grade class with chewing gum. There are unconfirmed links between this story and the unusual state of extreme shine on the aging automobiles of multiple teachers of the 7th grade class.
Additionally, my sources went on to state that though many students were observed chewing the gum that they obtained from Christie, no gum was ever found in any refuse container on that day, and this condition was noted on the entire school grounds. It has been rumored that Christie encouraged the students to stick it under their desks in an effort to effect contract outcomes for the custodial staff.
Certainly this potential conspiracy deserves at least as much attention as the GW bridge mirage-gate does. I encourage the state lawmakers to supeona all of the pertinant records, administrators and educators implicated. We should all stand up and demand public hearings and closed door interrogation sessions. If NJ lawmakers want to concentrate on irreverant things and effectively create their own much more consequential traffic jam by standing in the way of true reform and progress instead of cooperating and actually making a positive difference in the lives of NJ residents and taxpayers. Let them study the case of the CHristie Gum Gate.